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What's Your Night?
Death Wish
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STRANGE CORRESPONDENCE
What’s with the SXSW video? No Sour Notes? That band rocked your show and there’s not even a taste of them in the vid. Respect local music?
-daniel6789
Yeah, we fucked up a bunch on that. Basically, we had a bunch of responsibilities at the start of the day, so when the bands started we sorta forget that we were supposed to be documenting the show, and then later on the camera got lost for two hours. Whoops. We didn’t mean to slight anybody, it’s just that we’re really stupid sometimes.
Dear God,
Although I do quite enjoy perusing your ramblings whilst I ought to be doing something more productive, I simply must take issue with the fact that the current iteration of Loco Nunca twice suggests that every girl should get on the pill. To put it country simple, the pill is not for everyone. Putting a fake hormone in your body every month does not always make things better, at times it can make them worse. Personally, after getting on the pill for my first serious relationship, I went from being a relatively stable person to a bat shit crazy bag of tears and screams who wanted nothing more than to consume heroic amounts of fat laden foods and punch the next person who walked in the door. It made me into someone I could not stand, and I kicked that shit with the quickness and never looked back. Now every time I start fucking someone new I have to listen to all their bullshit rambling about how condoms suck and why don't I get on the pill because of folks like you who think it is a miracle cure. Certainly this mistake is due to the fact that you are a drunken muse as opposed to a qualified health care professional, so I do not blame you for your ignorance. However, I felt it was necessary to enlighten your male hetro readers that the pill might make the girl you like into someone you don't, so don't pressure her to get on it, assholes.
Sincerely,
Meander
Actually, we mentioned the pill three times. But did we ever offer medical advice to take it? Cayley talked about how it helped her periods be less heavy, Yawny said that she takes it so she doesn’t have kids, and I offered a hypothetical scenario where the pill would become a wonder drug with no side effects that solved the abortion crisis forever. (Also, as a side note, in light of the Tiller shooting, let’s get started on that shit.) Believe me, the last thing Loco Nunca wants is a bunch of hormone-crazed girls running around, and I’ve heard plenty of horror stories about its failures well before I got your email. But I also know tons of dumb girls who think that it’s impossible to get pregnant while on your period. So yeah, enlighten our dumb dude readers, but it’s a good idea for all girls to be on birth control of some sort, and the pill works for lots of them. Also, everyone hates condoms, not just fellas, and no guy should ever pressure their girlfriends to do anything besides not doing coke every day. How’s that for some drunken musing?
Great blog, but I went looking for the “secret box of treasures” that you mentioned in the Geocache article and there was nothing there. Umm…wtf?
-Tom
We were going to say that it’s too bad that you weren’t the first one to the spot and that you didn’t get to fetch the prize (it was a gigantic vibrator, by the way), but then you called us a blog. So….MADE YA LOOK!
Dearest Loco Nunca,
I take issue with Mr. Gatherer’s ("Movies that Ruined My Childhood") conflation of Flight of the Navigator with the likes of pre-coke Lohan’s or pre-nude Nell’s (Jodie Foster) Freaky Friday, and the more nefarious Escape to Witch Mountain. As a native of Arkansas, I have nothing but spittoonfuls of hick recollections involving alien abductions for one of two reasons: anal insertion for the purposes of yet-to-be-revealed scientific experimentation OR soul-crushingly lonely captors eager to guide humans on a tour of their vessel – then anally sodomize them. It took courage for Director Randall Kleiser to deviate from this banal UFO script and venture into the territory of non-rectally-obsessed extraterrestrial contact. Finally, no more sleepless nights with a metal plate securely fastened to my ass as the incandescence from my Ghostbusters nightlight cast the most ominous green glow since Louis Tully zapped that inner city bus driver. It was Flight of the Navigator that transformed my visions of the future from a chickenhearted midnight John Deere cruise to a lionhearted midnight John Deere cruise with Paul Reubens’ voice reverberating off the walls of my backwoods, hillbilly cranium – “Correction, Drew. I need the superior information in your inferior brain to fly this…thing.” The only thing under the radar about Flight of the Navigator is the Trimaxion in central Florida. File this one under “Movies that Saved My Childhood.” Keep up the awesome work LN. That is all.
Love,
Drew
Can we come hang out with you in Arkansas and have tractor races?
As always, send all compliments and complaints to god@loconunca.com.
and (sigh) we're now on twitter. @loconunca